Sunday, May 8, 2011

Fred Returns

Daniel and i were surprised to find Fred sitting on the couch tonight when we got in. I remember him saying something about being back on the 8th, but we take things day by day. Things like that are not so important to us. Either Fred is here or he is gone, and right now he is here.

He was sitting on the couch watching Kyle XY with Karl with a kind of a grimace on his face. He had been gone for what seemed so long, and he had changed. I had used to wonder why I never hung out with my friends who were married, but after that moment seeing him on the couch, i'll never wonder that again. He looked so different from us in a completely new way. I walked past him and into the kitchen where his new groceries, apple juice, mouthwash, granola sat on the counter and I knew he didn't belong in that house with the dirty dishes in the sink and the video games always in the other room; these things that he did not have control over. He didn't belong with them anymore.

He was trying so hard to be young again in the way we were. I think he was only watching Kyle XY to get away from us. He couldn't live here with us anymore, and he was using the tv as an escape. Oh his face said it all. He wanted to be where we were without having to care about things. he wanted to be able to just pack up his bags and leave to Utah for no real reason, but he just couldn't. And if he was being honest he didn't want that deep down. He only wanted it for us. He couldn't live with us and not have that free spirit feeling. Not that he wasn't free to leave. Of course he could, but he loved her so much he didn't want to ever leave her. Now he only has to wait for us to leave him.

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